Dear Mom,
Let me just start off by saying that there is no possible
way for me to put into words how much you actually mean to me, but I’m going to
try anyway, because you taught me that even when things seem impossible, if you
really want it, then why not make a valiant effort? You might fail miserably,
you might fall on your butt, but that’s always better than always wondering “what
if?” Thank you for teaching me that. I have fallen flat on the floor more times
than I’d like to admit; literally, as I’ve played sports since I was
5-years-old and am the most accident-prone person on the face of this earth,
and figuratively. But you know what? I can honestly say that I have gotten up
from the ground more times than I have fallen. Maybe I had some bruises, and
yes, I may still have a couple of scars to remind me of my past hurdles, but I
always stood back up. And when I felt like this time was it, there was no
possible way I could ever recover because I was just too broken, you swept me
up into your beautiful, loving arms, and carried me until I could walk again.
Thank you for believing in me even when I didn’t believe in
myself. I know, that’s what parents do. But I have lived long enough in this
world to know that it doesn’t always happen. And there’s a huge difference
between someone saying that they believe in you, and someone actually doing it.
When I was 11-years-old and decided that I wanted to be a model again, you didn’t
laugh or just sarcastically say “okay honey, whatever you want to do”. You
signed me up for modeling school and scrounged up enough money (that you didn’t
really have) to let me take those classes. You drove me there every single week
and you never once complained. You did that because you knew it was what I
wanted and I was determined at the time, and you believed that I could actually
do it. Thank you for not giving me a hard time when, a year later, I decided
that it wasn’t really what I wanted to do.
Thank you for kicking me in the butt when I need it. I have
always been a self-motivator and someone who will work hard for what they want.
But I’m not perfect. I have those days where I just don’t want to do anything,
or I feel like giving up. I remember when I was 13-years-old and I had softball
practice with a new team. I don’t remember why, but I DID NOT WANT TO GO AND
YOU WEREN’T GOING TO MAKE ME. But, you knew this was important to me, even if
it didn’t seem like it at the time. So, you dragged me, kicking and screaming
and crying, out of bed and to the field.
I ended up having the best time and I ended up staying on that team for
many years, playing hundreds of tournaments and making some great connections
to lead me further in my softball career. On those days that I have no motivation
and energy, I give you a call because I know that in a matter of minutes, you’ll
light that fire under me once again, even if you do it with me kicking and screaming the entire time.
Thank you for being strong. I don’t always tell you this,
but I think you’re the strongest woman I know. You have been through so much in
your lifetime. Yet, an outsider would never be able to tell. You give off such
warmth to anyone and everyone. You aren’t jaded by the obstacles that you have
been through, nor are you bitter. You are a true warrior, and you have also
molded me into one as well. Not only have you been strong for yourself, but you’ve
been strong for me. In my 22 years on this earth, I’ve also been through a lot.
And when I couldn’t find the strength within myself, I found it in you, my
rock. Remember when I was 19 and I had been in my own apartment for about 6
months, then one day, suddenly, I told you that I wanted to move back in with
you? Well, sure it was going to help us both financially. But I could’ve
managed the financial struggles. The real reason I moved back in with you was
because I needed you. You now know
that I was going through the most difficult time in my life (I know I waited a
long time to tell you what happened and for that, I’m sorry). I was depressed
and angry and didn’t know how to recover from something so horrific. Thank you
for letting me move back in, to slowly pick up the pieces until I felt whole
again. If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know where I would be today.
Thank you for being my best friend. Not only do we have a
mother-daughter relationship, but we also have a beautiful friendship. I can
call you up after a first date with some guy I had just met, and tell you about
how he made this crazy, inappropriate, yet extremely hilarious comment to me
and you can spend five minutes laughing with me about how ridiculous it was. We go out for a drink and you notice the cute bartender who has been eyeing me the entire night. You strike up a conversation with him and create that bridge for him and I to get to know each other. YOU ARE THE BEST WINGWOMAN EVER, by the way. We
go on random drives when we’re both feeling lost or bored, and scream and sing
out the rolled-down windows and people probably think that we’re absolutely
batshit crazy; which we probably are. We have so much fun together, laughing
until it hurts and talking about the most ridiculous things. Thank you for
always making me laugh, even when I want to burst into tears.
I really could go on and on about how wonderful you are.
There are so many positive qualities about you that it would take me days to
write this article and even longer for someone to read the final product. But
maybe I’ll write a part two someday. I want you to know that there are these
moments when we are together and you may be talking to someone, with your hands
flailing because you like to talk with them and act out your words, or you may
just be making breakfast, but there are these moments that make me sit back and
exhale, smiling at the person that you are and how lucky I am that you’re MY
mom. You make my heart smile.
Hopefully, with this letter, I can make yours smile too.
Love,
Your Loving and Grateful Daughter Who Worships the Ground You Walk On
No comments:
Post a Comment